Gossipable!

1. The one who messages you once a year to say something incredible. Every so often, you’ll wake up to a text or a Facebook message from him, something about how he thought of you last night, or how he wants to see you, or when are you going to be in his city? It will fill you with a sudden whoosh of excitement and hope. But no matter how carefully you’ll try to reply to his messages — to seem casually interested, but not like you’re invested in his sudden attention — he’ll always fade away again, and you’ll somehow be left feeling desperate, even if he’s the one who reached out to you. You’ll delete his number from your phone to prevent yourself from drunk texting him, but you’ll still look at his profile every now and again. 2. The one who doesn’t like your friends. He’ll hang out with them from time to time, because to not see them would be unreasonable, but he won’t like it. He’ll pout and text a lot and demand your attention, and then when the two of you are walking home, he’ll sa...

Date a girl who doesn’t need you because she’s already happy with herself. She’s the one with a tightly packed schedule and a life overflowing with love. She’s the girl you find it tricky to meet up with but who gives herself fully once she’s there. She listens fully when you speak. She answers promptly when you call. She does not waste your time playing petty games because she knows where her priorities lie. She doesn’t need you to complete or fulfill her. She’s simply looking for a partner in crime. Date a girl who puts herself first. She’s the one who knows that two halves do not make a whole and that nobody can fill in for what she’s not. She admits that she is still a work in progress and she fully understands that you are too. She’s the girl who’s always working on herself because she doesn’t want to be loved to completion – she knows she has to make herself whole. Date a girl who doesn’t need you because she’s already comfortable alone. She will not turn to you for constant reas...

Men like heartfelt compliments, too. When you hear the word "compliment," it probably makes you think of all the sweet things that men say to their significant others, am I right? Well listen up ladies: Compliments are a two-way street and as it turns out, men love to hear them, too. And we're not just talking about the compliments that focus on their physical features, or their uhh ... horizontal talents, either. Not that they don't appreciate a good, "I'm still thinking about what you did to me this morning" text here and there (they asked me to make that clear.) Read on for some pretty damn adorable answers from men on the heartfelt compliments that make them swoon when said to them by a special lady. 1. I'm proud of you. "I love it when a girl I'm dating is genuinely interested in something I've accomplished, whether it's a song I wrote or a new piece of music equipment I'm working with." -Osito, 25 2. I like your friend...

Wow. Really??? I'd like to think that society has changed enough that a woman who explores her s#xuality is just as likely to have a good marriage as someone who is a virgin at the time of her marriage. Unfortunately, recent research neither supports nor denies this theory, and ends up asking more questions than it answers. This confusing study called "Counterintuitive Trends in the Link between Premarital s#x and Marital Stability" from the University of Utah, and published on the Institute for Family Studies Blog, questioned whether premarital s#x affects a married couple's likelihood of divorce. What was the answer? Premarital s#x can influence divorce sometimes, but it depends on other factors. The study's author, Nicholas H. Wolfinger, a professor in the University of Utah's Department of Family and Consumer studies and an adjunct professor in the Department of Sociology, discovered some interesting trends: Divorce rates have fallen for the shrinking perc...

Why is modern dating such a fake process? Being alone used to be such a terrifying thought for me. When I first moved into my apartment four years ago, I was just five months out of my last long-term relationship and it was a complete shock to my system. I had only ever lived with a boyfriend, or at the very least, had one when I was living on my own. My new reality having no one to come home to, pay me visits and snuggle up in my bed next to me was a hard one to get used to. It took me a while but I've seriously conquered the fear of being alone and I'm better than ever at managing my life without that special someone by my side. Though I'm still hopeful to have love in my life again someday, dating has never been more difficult. This chapter of my single life started innocently. I would meet guys online or in real life and I was giddy with teenage delight every time I got ready to go out on a first date. The hope wasn't just alive in my heart; it burned like a fire th...

There’s no class in high school on how to not be a sh#tty boyfriend or girlfriend. Sure, they teach us the biology of s#x, the legality of marriage, and maybe read a few obscure love stories from the 19th century on how not to be. But when it comes down to actually handling the nitty-gritty of relationships, we’re given no pointers… or worse, we’re given advice columns in women’s magazines. Click to continue reading

If you’re a young lady that is in her 20’s then I’m sure you have heard a few of your guy friends discuss girls. Many women (including myself) get frustrated with the complaints that men have about women. The ultimate truth is: Men are oblivious when it comes to dating bitches, hence my decision to write this article. So below you’ll find a list of five particularly irksome complaints by boyfriends about their girlfriends that I hear on a daily basis: 1. She gets mad about everything. Yes I know, we women are emotional, but not all of us get angry over the smallest things. I have had guys tell me that some of their girlfriends get mad if they hang out with their friends for one night. ONE NIGHT. Many women expect their boyfriend to be superman, and when they don’t get what they want, they automatically write him off as a loser. Check the warning signs and see what makes her angry on a daily basis. Chances are if she gets worked up about every little thing, she will tear you apart too. ...

1. Would you rather date someone who’s highly ambitious about their career, or someone who cares more about passions outside of work? 2. Would you rather be with someone who wants to start a family in the very near future, or someone who’d like to wait a few years to really figure things out? 3. Given the choice, would you want to be in a relationship in which one of you eventually becomes the primary income source and the other is the primary caregiver, or would you rather be in a relationship where both of you work? 4. Would you rather be with a thrill-seeker, who likes to travel and skydive and try various dangerous things, or would you rather date someone who is more calm and serene? 5. Do you want to be with someone who’s confrontational and places the problem right on the table, or someone who approaches issues between you in a more careful, gentle way? 6. Would you rather date someone who’s interested in a very active social life, with parties and events and activities every oth...

True love and commitment are rare to find but most of us spend a good portion of our time trying to seek out that comfort zone that only comes with a relationship. A lot of times relationships are not based on love at all but are these called casual? No! Sometimes people feel so averted by the idea of being in a “casual relationship” that they would rather choose to live with the delusional white lie that their relationship actually exists. That is why a majority of the relationships end, as they might not always be based on two people genuinely being interested in each other but two people who are just trying each other out. This could be due to several reasons: loneliness, set ups, peer pressure, social stigma that everyone needs to flock in twos, social status, s#xtimacy (confusing physical intimacy with emotional intimacy), a power play for a better self-image with one-sided love situations, denial of being used when you’re the loving party in the one sided love situations, because...

My ex-husband was abusive: physically, s#xually, and most of all emotionally. (Whoever came up with the expression “sticks and stones can break my bones but words will never hurt me” obviously lacked any ability to harbor feelings.) In short: my ex was an emotional psychopath. When we split after a nearly 8 year marriage, he left with a suitcase packed with pieces of me: my pride, self-worth, hopes, dreams. He didn’t take those things using his hands; he took them using his words. But here’s the sly thing about emotional psychopaths: they’re very good at not coming across as psychopaths, so good sometimes that it’s tricky to spot when you’re being emotionally abused. Learn from the clues I (eventually) picked up on: Click to continue

The red flags are there—you’re just choosing to ignore them and your intuition, hoping against hope that if you stick it out, it will get better. Because it must? If you love him hard enough? No, in fact, it’s likely to only get worse. Much worse. If at least 5 of these 21 below are part of your dating experience, then you’re seeing an emotionally unavailable man. Best get out now, before you put another few weeks or months into a relationship that will only lead back to Square 1. 1. He mentions his ex-girl friend. A lot. Without asking him and very early on, you know her name, her major, where she lives or works, or any of the other myriad details that you shouldn’t really know about a girl you’re likely to never meet from a guy you just met. 2. He tells you he “has baggage.” Because his ex that you know too much about was a bitch. Or evil. Or crazy. Or anything else that he says. His anger or hurt is just below the surface, and he’s telling you to be on your best behavior around him ...

Date a girl who loves an adventure because she knows how to live her life. She understands that you only get one chance, one opportunity to make the best of it, and so she takes it and lives it to the fullest. Granted, she can sometimes feel a little lost, a little overwhelmed, a little confused, lack direction, and not know what to do, but such qualms do not hold up the girl who loves an adventure because she understands that it is a normal part of life. So instead, she sees trying to figure out the next step in her life as her next adventure. And hopefully, you will be there for her holding her hand supportively. Hold her hand to show you care and that you’re proud; don’t hold her hand to hold her back. Date a girl who loves an adventure because she loves the rush and risk. She is the kind of girl who likes to live on the edge. She loves to push her boundaries and the limits not out of disrespect, callousness, or carelessness but because she wants to know her limits, she wants to lea...

1. She will actually be able to open up to you. She’s ready to be seen for who she is, not who she thinks will impress you. 2. You’ll become a better person because you’ve known her. You’ll maintain that you, and your relationship, are both works-in-progress. In not needing to maintain an image, you’re actually able to grow and change. 3. Her life is no longer about projecting an image, but building herself. The same will be true of your relationship. 4. She won’t give up so easily. She doesn’t associate perfection with the ability to be loved, which means she’s also capable of being genuinely intimate. 5. She’ll choose you because of what she experiences when she’s with you, not how it would appear to be with you. 6. She’s dealt with her insecurities. She’s been through pain and loss, and she’s grown from it. It takes someone who has been pushed to their very limits to no longer want to pretend they have it all together. 7. She wants to evolve with you, not have someone in her life to...

1. I had to give up the fantasy If I could figure out how to make money off of my ability to find something wrong with guys I would be a millionaire several times over. There was this little voice inside me that didn’t want to do the work of being vulnerable and dating someone and maybe getting my heart broken so I would invent reasons why a guy was “a weirdo” or somehow not worth getting to know. He used “u” instead of “you” while texting, he had a cat, he took selfies, whatever. I had to look at the great guys in my life I knew well and imagine just meeting them. They’re the best guys I know and I had to admit that they would have come off as “weird” and I would have written them off! No guy seems perfect when you meet him, you have to look past the everyday awkwardness or embarrassing mannerism and see what kind of character and personality they have. This takes time. 2. I had to learn how to speak up I’m not a gregarious person. I wish I was but I tend to be more on the res...

1. That you think his ex girlfriend is a total b#tch. Your boyfriend’s ex is probably a poor excuse for a human—a raging c#nt with bad breath and regrettable taste in clothing. But as obvious as it is that she s#cks, it would be a mistake to reveal how you feel about her to your boyfriend. Any negative comment about a man’s ex, however accurate, is bound to be construed as je#lousy or pett#ness. So talk shit all you want among friends, but don’t divulge the extent to which you loathe your man’s former flame when he’s around. Click to continue reading

This post was originally published on September 6, 2012. Sometimes you might feel like you’re desperate to be in a relationship…until the possibility is right in front of you. (It’s like when you agree to go skydiving with a friend — then you see them jump out of the plane and you think, “No way am I doing that! Are you crazy?”) When trying to find love, often fear is the one, huge thing standing in the way. But you learned when you were three — with the whole “monsters under the bed” thing — that some fears are imaginary. Here are 12 ways fear interferes with love, and why you should kick it to the curb (and say yes to that relationship). 1 YOU’RE AFRAID OF HEARTBREAK. Let’s get this one out of the way right off the bat. Everyone is afraid of getting hurt. (Except for several of the villains in The Care Bears, I suppose. Those cold-hearted a-holes.) Doesn’t that make you feel better? If life were one big bumper car game, and we were all afraid of getting hurt, we would be a little mor...

When he texts you after midnight, do not answer him. No matter the emoji, no matter the pleading, no matter the sweet little words he strings together to try and convince you that he’s worth your time. It doesn’t matter if he calls you ‘baby’ or ‘sweet girl’ or ‘the only one for me’ because he is texting you when the sun is down and there is no one around to hold him accountable for his actions. It doesn’t matter what he calls you because he isn’t calling you when it matters. He’s calling on you after midnight when he doesn’t really have to look you in the eye. When he texts you after midnight, do not give him a moment of your time. Leave him with a read receipt, an texting signal that will never end, an unanswered message. Just do not give him the satisfaction of hearing from you. If he wanted to hear from you, you’d be with him at midnight instead of just finding out you’re on his mind at midnight. Because girls who get texts at midnight are simply afterthoughts, and you deserve his ...

As we all know, Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds are the best couple in Hollywood since Brad and Jen vibes. (Controversial, I know, but I am a Jen fan at heart, get over it). Anyway, Lively and Reynolds have been giving us #relationshipgoals for what seems like forever, even though their love affair started off at an awkward double date with different partners (it’s like a rom-com ready to roll). The genetically blessed couple were friends first, although Reynolds recently revealed he felt sparks at that fateful double date. Funnily enough, Lively didn’t! (lol awks). In an interview with EW, she noted, “[That date] went well for him. I don’t know about fireworks for me. [laughs].” Apparently there was some serious friend-zoning going on before they realized they were meant to be together 4eva. “No, yeah, we were such good friends for so long and we both got to know each other as friends so when we were both single, we were still trying to find each other’s [perfect date],” Lively continu...

1. “My girlfriend’s a funny person, but once in a while a joke is bound to fall flat, right? Happens to anyone who tries to make other people laugh regularly. Anyway, that’s when her brow furrows and she sticks her bottom lip out to pout and I get h#rny because she looks so adorable—and f#ckable.” — Nelson, 25 Click to continue reading

I think about you damn near every day. I’ve been thinking about you since the day you entered my life. You were, and still are, so tall and handsome with big, rough hands that drew me in. I wanted to know you, so I took my time and I learned who you were. I learned how you slept and how you snored. I learned you weren’t a breakfast person, but you loved your morning coffee. I learned you were kind, like really, genuinely kind. You cared about people and you wanted everyone to be included. I learned every time you sat on the couch you grabbed a pillow to wrap your arms around. I learned that you could only sleep in pitch black with the doors closed and you cringed over the fact anyone could sleep with socks on. And of everything I learned about you, the one thing I’m still certain of is that I still miss you terribly, but I know we don’t belong in each other’s lives. I could call you, send you a text, show up at your door, do whatever I wanted to do to contact you, but that wouldn’t cha...