Gossipable!

Standing someone up is the OG dick move, but despite how woke baes can be in 2016, it remains a constant in the murky waters of dating. Luckily, 21st-century romance comes with internet. While social media is useful for things like watching viral cat videos and asking your 76 Twitter followers what they think that mole on your shoulder is, perhaps its best use is for dragging deadbeat dates who don't even give the curtesy of a respectful heads up before they bail. Here are 10 women who used the internet to handle being stood up in the most epic ways. 1. The woman who went on a shopping spree. Click to continue

1. We've heard every twin line in the book. Can you use the other one as a mirror? How do you know you're really you? It's so not the way to our hearts. Try chocolate instead, or good banter. 2. Don't ask us a gazillion questions about what it's like to be a twin. Yeah, the Olsen twins were pretty cool and so was The Parent Trap but to us it's all we know and honestly, we've had this conversation more times than we can count. 3. We will try and trick you into mixing us. It's all part of the fun. #TwinPrivileges. 4. We'll probably gang up on you with our true other half, and you'll lose. Right or wrong, you might as well stop trying to win arguments now. We've always got back up because our twin will totally take our side. 5. You have no choice but to be friends with our twin. Awks if you don't like her. 6. And our twin's opinion is almost as important as our Dad's. If you don't pass the twin test then basically your rela

1. You've suddenly met most of his friends and family in the span of a few weeks. Your partner went from being vague and mysterious, to suddenly inviting you out for dinner or drinks and pulling you around to what feels like a "Meet Everyone Important to Me World Tour." 2. You've been an official wedding date. Yeah, it's one thing to net an invite via a plus-one, it's a whole other to get a name on the invitation. You might not realize it, but at some point, things got pretty serious. Serious enough that people planning a wedding assume you're going to be together 10 or so months from now. 3. You just celebrated some kind of one-year "anniversary." Don't underestimate the significance of a year. It doesn't really matter how casual your relationship is, surviving your amorphous, barely definable hookup-sorta relationship still has something going for it if you've made it a year. And especially if you acknowledge it, even just "bei

Not every guy is just going to walk right up to you and ask for you number or offer you a drink. Some guys take a less direct path. Whether they're shy, lack confidence, or are afraid to make things weird if you don't feel the same way, they send out vibes instead and hope you'll pick up on them. On the one hand, if you're not into them, it helps your cute coworker avoid the awkwardness of potential rejection. On the other, if you do like them, the whole thing can be grueling. But there are a few very obvious things he could be doing to feel you out. So if you're into him, you might want to just let him know. He might need the help, and who is a better wingman for you than ... you? 1. He always wants to know if you're going to group events. Does he check in with you to see if you're going to a mutual friend's birthday party or post-work drinks with the whole office? Maybe he plays coy, as if he doesn't know you didn't hear about it, and then invi

It's 2016, which means women are kicking a$$, running for president, and, sure, carrying c#ndoms. Duh. While there shouldn't be a stigma against anyone who's prepared for safe s#x, c#ndom company Sustain wanted to address the weird tab00 that targets women in particular. So to demystify this age-old double standard, CEO of Sustain, Meika Hollender, took to the street to ask men how they feel about women who carry c#ndoms on the regular. Click to continue

Done right and with a partner you're ~into~, consensual s#x is supposed to be a fun thing that makes you feel hot and great. That might lead you to believe it could only ever leave you happy, and never sad. But thanks to a brand new area of research into the variety of responses humans have after s#x, researchers know this isn't necessarily true for what could be half of the general, s#x-having population. Click to continue

As if you didn't have enough happening inside your body when your period arrives (cramps, bloating, headaches, backaches, weird nausea, whatever's going on with your intestines...), sometimes a bonus friend tags along with it: Period weight! Yes, because the world is cruel and periods feel like actual hexes upon your body, it's possible (and perfectly normal) to gain some extra pounds during that time of the month. To help give you some peace of mind and reassure you that yes, this is happening to basically everyone and we're all equally distraught about it, Cosmopolitan.com spoke with Alyssa Dweck, a gynecologist in Westchester County, about all the little reasons you might be seeing a few extra pounds on the scale around your period. Take a deep breath. It's totally normal and you're gonna be fine. WHEN YOU WAKE UP THREE POUNDS HEAVIER It's more accurate to refer to this phenomenon as weight fluctuation, not weight gain. Even though you see an uptick in yo

Carter and I had s#x this morning in the engine room downstairs. It's at the bottom of the building, off the garage. I'd gone looking for him, cracked open the door and found him there, the room dark and cool, his shirt off, the giant mechanics of our building behind him. It was rough, big metal framing his tan, muscular skin and I couldn't stop myself from stepping inside, my hand pulling the door shut behind me, my heels loud on the floor. I'd put on a red sundress this morning. I think that ended up on the floor. I know I ended up against the wall, the concrete cool and hard against my back, his hands holding me up, under my ass, the grunt of his thrusts hot in my ear. When I came, I screamed and the yell got lost in the loud rumblings of the machine. When he came, it was sudden, his grip on my skin tightening, and I felt the shudder of him right before he pulled out. I think I'm falling in love with him. It seems like an odd thing to think. It seems like somethi

Carter loves me. Two back-to-back texts that stated it. True, he thought I'd just been in a plane crash. But still, the words seemed pretty definitive. And now, back in the car, with Hannah beside me, two hours of driving ahead, there was no reason not to call him. I tried to sort through my feelings for him.  Just a few weeks ago, I was contemplating love. So why did it seem so scary, so sudden? I think it's because how I feel about him so closely mirrors how I felt about Vic. And Vic and I crashed. Vic and I hurt. Vic and I still have a muddled mess of emotions tied to every interaction. So it scares me a little to care about Carter in that way. Because it means we could crash, I could hurt. I could be signing up for five years of emotional distress after our ending. Because that is what happens, right? Relationships end. And it seems a lot easier to end things before it hurts. But all that is stupid. We are all running around this giant world trying to find love. Trying to f

Meeting with an ex is like going into battlefield. There are rules to adhere to, strategies and plans of attack to devise, and defenses must be at an all-time high. Rule #1: Meet on Neutral Ground. Vic's club didn't really count as neutral ground, but I forced him to meet me in downstairs bar, avoiding his secluded office upstairs. "I told you not to wear panties." He walked me backward until the backs of my legs hit the edge of his desk, his voice a growl, his eyes dark on mine. "And I ignored you." My breath hitched when his fingers lifted the edge of my skirt, confident and possessive when they gripped at my thong and yanked. Yes, I've been in that office many times. Bent over that desk. Laid back on top of liquor invoices and payroll docs. Pressed up against the window, looking down on the sea of bodies as my own was teased into oblivion. Vic loved that office. I don't want to think about how many women, both during and after me, he had up there.

A woman in New York City can't survive without a cell phone. It's a fact. Especially not a woman working for Nicole Brantley. My old self would have marched into the closest Verizon and walked out with a shiny new phone one short hour later. My new self — and reduced bank balance — waits three days for my phone insurance to ship out a refurbished replacement. My new self agonizes over the $200 fee. And I hate Vic a little more with every inconvenience he has caused by taking my phone. Having to wait in a 20-minute line for Nicole's double espresso with NO Candy Crush to pass the time. Unable to call an Uber and having to chase down a taxi. Eating alone at that new sushi spot because Cammie had to cancel but didn't have a way of letting me know. My Trivia Crack games expiring due to non-activity. Having to answer emails like a Neanderthal, my responses delayed until I can physically get to a computer with Internet. My job probably wouldn't have survived the three-day

Once it was clear that I wasn't going to say yes to Vic's proposal, things wrapped up quickly. Carter's parents beat it back to the Upper East Side, their chauffeured Mercedes practically laying down skid marks. Vic left with an irritated scowl, a diamond ring in his pocket that could have paid my college debt and my rent for a year. The crowd dispersed, someone turned off the Chloe light show, and the gawkers found something else interesting. Carter and I just stared at each other: two awkward people with no clear direction. "So." He finally said. "Yeah." That was my brilliant response. Honestly, I was too tired to apologize. Too emotional. I was still upset about his lies, or omissions — the fact that he never told me that his parents owned the building we lived in, that he'd grown up just as pampered as I had. Along with being tired, I was vulnerable, rubbed raw by a heartfelt public display of affection from a man I had once loved deeply. "I

I write to you now as the daughter of felons. The girlfriend of liars. The most unimaginative of bloggers because I can't even come up with a third descriptive line. The FBI picked up my parents at the airport a few hours after they'd left. It took four days for my phone to ring, their attorney informing me of their detainment. My first thought, upon hearing the news, was to wonder whose plane, whose friendship, they had used. Just as quickly, I discarded the thought. It didn't really matter who they had implicated in their attempt to escape. Whoever's plane it was knew what they were getting into, knew the risks. Then again, my parents always were great at deception. I'd been really gullible for a really long time. So. Four days since they were arrested and flown back to Florida, and no calls. If they were given phone privileges in jail, they made their calls to someone else. Do they think that I turned them in? If they thought I was a daughter who'd snitch, th

Generally, I think women tell men when they are pregnant, not the other way around. This was my first time being accused of being pregnant, so it figures that it would be fresh off a proposal from my ex, with a huge live audience, Carter's parents listening in, caught between my ex and my boyfriend as they faced off. Carter was hurt. Vic was c#cky. Click to continue

I am officially back in civilization. New cell phone in hand, freshly synced with the Cloud. It's almost as if I never lost the old one. I do have a tiny confession: I fished the Balenciaga bag out of the trash. It's now in my closet. I left the cell phone, it's in a landfill in Brooklyn now, but the bag, it was too beautiful to waste. I had the set security give it an once-over, they promised me it was tracking-device free. And now that I'm back online, back with iCal, I see that tonight is THE NIGHT when I meet Carter's parents. The mysterious couple who birthed this beautiful creature. I think he's as nervous as I am. He's offered twice to reschedule, citing the weather one moment and my rough work schedule the next. Maybe he's ashamed of them. Because they are cult leaders who will ask for a sample of my blood. Or staunch vegans who will eye my leather purse with pursed lips and judgmental stares. Or maybe he's ashamed of me. Worried that they

Sure, there are a lot of double standards when it comes to the way men and women approach s#x (orgasm deficit is one huge one), but there are also a lot of straight-up misconceptions about how women really feel about it. Women don't hate s#x, women don't need to be in love to have s#x, and women do not care about your penis size. Wouldn't it be great if this could all be cleared up? 1. I'm not going to automatically fall in love and start planning a wedding because you gave me an orgasm. This whole idea about how girls get "so attached" after you have s#x with them one single time is BS. I'm a person with ~*~needs~*~, just like you. Click to continue

In the past couple years, l#sbian po#n has emerged as a popular search term for millennial women. It's the most sought category for P#rnhub's female viewers, and of 4,000 readers surveyed by Cosmopolitan.com in 2014, 84% of straight women had watched l#sbian p#rn, and 20.3% preferred it. In this week's S#x Talk Realness, we reached out to straight women who watch l#sbian p#rn to see what draws them to the genre, and how it impacts their s#xuality. How old are you? Woman A: 28-ish. (29 in three weeks!) Click to continue 

One of the benefits of living in the digital age is that two people can (kind of) get it on whenever, wherever, through their phones or the internet. S#xting (sending suggestive photos, videos, and messages) is something that many couples choose to do, but researchers Rob Weisskirch, Michelle Drouin, and Rakel Delevi of California State University decided to take a closer look at why people s#xt and what it says about their relationships. Specifically, the researchers were interested in learning how relationship anxiety factored into people's decision to s#xt their partner. Did it come from a place of comfort or fear? To get a better idea of their motives, they gave 459 unmarried, heteros#xual, undergraduate students an online survey that measured their "s#xting behaviors, relationship commitment needed to engage in s#xting, their fear of being single, their dating anxiety and their attachment style (secure or insecure)." Click to continue

It's impossible to wade into the world of dating without occasionally (or, for many of us, more than occasionally) spotting some red flags. While these little warning signs don't necessarily mean the relationship is doomed from the start or beginning to fizzle out, they do mean the two of you probably need to sit down and check in on where it's going and what each of you wants. Here are 12 signals that are super easy to accidentally overlook: 1. You're always messaging them first. And I mean literally always. Sure, he's super responsive once you start talking, but if you weren't the one starting conversations, would they even happen? 2. They don't take photos with you. Some people just don't like taking photos, and that's OK! It can seem trivial, but if your partner's Facebook is filled with snaps of their life, but they never like to take them with you, then maybe something larger is afoot. 3. They don't respond to you on social media. If th

1. He stares at his phone like it's a hot girl he wants to sl##p with and stares at you like you're a pile of old cheese he keeps meaning to throw out. I know that pretty much our whole generation does this to some degree but if he's more interested in checking out his friend Mikey's #TBT Instagram photos of spring break '08 than he is talking to you about your upcoming scuba trip, there's no way he's going to focus on giving you org#sms. Click to continue

Nicole took the news in typical fashion. Lots of screaming, lots of swearing. At one point, she threw a pillow at me. Chanel instantly pounced on it with a growl, her ferocious play of it taking any air out of the next five minutes of Nicole's scream. I offered working a final two weeks; Nicole called me a scheming bitch. I told her I'd leave any work items in my office; she told me to stick them up my penniless ass. The woman knows how to win her employee's hearts. But I am glad that she showed her true colors on my exit. It makes me certain that I won't waiver in my resolve. No weak moments of me crawling back to her. No final memory of a sniffling Nicole begging me to stay. I feel sorry for her child. I feel sorry for Chanel. And I wonder, after seeing the emotion behind Clarke's blowup, if they will stay together. I think they probably will, especially with the baby coming. Clarke seems like he'd be a great father. And who knows, maybe the birth will change

1. "He confessed that he is afraid of vampires and believes they're real — to the point of refusing to say 'vampire' out loud because then he might summon one." —Susan A., 39 2. "An hour into our first date, he leaned over and honked my boob. Later, he texted, 'I had a great time tonight! When can I see you again?'" —Chelsea S., 27 3. "For our first date, he surprised me by taking me to his high school reunion. Not s#xy, dude." —Adrianna S., 24 4. "He showed up 30 minutes late for our coffee date, then he told me he actually doesn't like coffee. He wanted to leave and instead go together to Barnes & Noble to buy his LSAT books. That's not my idea of a fun date!" —Ash R., 22 5. "I texted, and he invited me over. I helped him clean as we hung out. Then this girl lets herself in — they had a date. I was cleaning for another date to enjoy!" —Dawn W., 28 6. "After our date, he sent me a bar graph that rat

1. You sleep with separate blankets. 2. You can tell him he's driving you crazy in a totally normal way without fighting about it. "Haha seriously, though, f#ck off." 3. You get in the shower with him in a completely nons#xual way just because you're late for work. Saving time and the environment. 4. Your text history is just about groceries (womp). 5. You trade s#x acts for house chores. Not that taking the trash out wasn't s#xy to begin with, but. You know. 6. You have a shared Google calendar. 7. "S#xy pajamas" means shorts instead of flannel pants. Or shrunken frat tees. 8. You wear pimple cream in front of him like it ain't no thang. 9. At parties you communicate exclusively in knowing glances. 10. He doesn't even TRY to bring home anything with raisins (or whatever ingredient you don't like) in it anymore. 11. He knows to not talk to you before 10 a.m. on the weekends. Unless he's going to make you coffee for s#x (see #5.) 12. You c

1. Date One Shower and shave? Check. Series of exfoliating and hydrating face masks? Yes. Slathered body with expensive Sephora lotion made of garnets and children's laughter? Check. I am a poreless wonder and my hair smells like an angel. Oh, almost forgot to bring curiously strong mints! 2. Date Two I feel super awkward peeing in this tiny apartment when he's on my bed and can hear me. I'll just run the water. Also, let me brush my teeth while I'm in here, since I was compulsively checking if I had food in them. 3. Date Three No no no no no we're about to have s#x but I kind of have to poop. What can I do?! Can I say I forgot to get condoms and run down to the bodega and use their bathroom? Do they even have a bathroom? This is the worst thing that's ever happened to humanity, HE'S NOT SUPPOSED TO KNOW I POOP. Maybe I can counteract this by going to the bathroom and getting 'er done, then lighting a match or my scented candle — does that make it too ob

1. Everybody is either lying or bragging about how much s#x they're having. If you think you've had a few dry months, your friend who always tells stories of hot stranger s#x at brunch may not have gotten la#d in years, so take heart. 2. And also about how good it is. (Or isn't.) Don't worry. We're all basically in the same boat. Click to continue

1. The I'm Tired but Relationships Are About Compromise Normally it's cool that he takes awhile to finish but you got up at like 6 a.m. today. You never noticed how the repetitive motion of your head is basically like a baby being rocked to sleep! If you fall asleep with a p#nis in your mouth, does that make you the coolest and most chill girlfriend ever, or will he think you have just died? THE ANSWER MIGHT SURPRISE YOU. 2. Toothy The second your mind is off technique and on something else (A meeting at work tomorrow? How your childhood stuffed animal is watching you both like a weird inanimate p#rv?), he does the "Ow, teeth, TEETH" thing that makes you terrified he will be showing Olivia Benson what you did to him on a doll at Law & Order: SVU. Click to continue

1. It doesn't just "happen." In movies, two perfectly symmetrical-faced people gaze at each other, and in the next scene they're in bed doing it. Alas, when you're single and dating, this rarely happens. It requires a little more work. 2. Sometimes you're too lazy or turned-on to take all your clothes off when it happens, and you wind up leaving some uns#xy article of clothing on. And then you're done having s#x, and he's still wearing his shirt without p#nts and und#rwear, and you are like, "I just slept with Donald Duck." Click to continue

1. He always brags about you. If you get a promotion at work or even just win concert tickets, he can't resist telling everyone you hang out with before you even think to mention it. Because he's your biggest fan (arguably next to your mom). 2. He makes sacrifices for you — and you're happy to do the same for him. He'll move cities to live with you if you get a new job or finish grad school. You're happy to make the next move for one of his opportunities. 3. He shares the same values as you. You know you both want kids and expect to split the child care equally. Or maybe you know you both want kids and he wants to take extended paternity leave. Maybe you've also agreed that you should each get 45 minutes to yourself to go to the gym every day, or you plan to buy a home and move to the suburbs in five years. You know you're on the same page with things that matter most to you because you've discussed them. 4. Even after years together he still does little

It's easy for anyone to get self-conscious during s#x. You're n#ked, it's crazy-intimate, and you're seeing each other's bodies from angles that aren't common in most day-to-day activities. But you'd be surprised that the things you get self-conscious about aren't even a thought in a guy's mind. If you're not self-conscious about your body in the first place, that's amazing. But if any of these thoughts has ever popped into your head during s#x, brush them aside because here's what we're really thinking. Click to continue

1. Sometimes you have to do things you don't want to do, like hang out with his lame friends. You're not always in the mood to nurse a beer silently while he and his boys argue about who's going to die next on Game of Thrones — but tomorrow he's sitting through a seven-girl brunch. So. 2. It's possible to spend all your time with someone for lots of years and not get sick of them and love them more than when you first got together. 3. But getting that emotionally close with him might be scary at first. We're not all comfy with close partnerships right off the bat. You can be in the first good relationship you've ever had, and half the time you want to cry or throw up because you're not used to being that open and vulnerable with a guy you're sleeping with — especially if you're used to playing the Who Cares Less game with flaky, commitment-phobic dicknuggets. 4. Your significant other probably won't be the kind of person you always thought yo

If there's one thing you must know about me, it's that I have a type and that type is "unavailable." It's something that started when I was in high school. Crushing on guys who weren't attainable, whether it was because they had girlfriends or because they didn't even know I existed, was an easy way to pretend I wanted to commit to a relationship when I was, in reality, terrified of the idea. Keep that in mind when I tell you about Kyle*, the first guy I met after moving to New York City from Amherst, Massachusetts. At the time, I felt like I was ready to find someone I could date, and Kyle, with his flannel shirts and hipster glasses, seemed like an excellent contender for the role of boyfriend. We worked together, and when the two of us were teamed up for a project, we high-fived. "This will be great," he e-mailed when we got back to our desks. "I was really hoping I would get to work with you." We quickly developed a routine of near-